


communication skills.

by Phuuca



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Character Study, Communication Failure, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Kageyama Tobio is Bad at Feelings, Kageyama Tobio is a Mess, Kageyama Tobio-centric, Lack of Communication, Problem with Communicating, Self-Reflection, and then it became a character study, honestly, like REALLY bad a feelings, so am I, this is me projecting myself onto Kageyama, this started off as a vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:41:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24870220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phuuca/pseuds/Phuuca
Summary: Kageyama is bad at communicating
Relationships: Kageyama Tobio & Karasuno Volleyball Club
Comments: 11
Kudos: 150





	communication skills.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on myself and my interactions with others.

Kageyama. Did not know how to communicate. At all.

It was a wonder how he actually had friends,people who actually _cared_ about him. A fucking _wonder_.

There were many problems with Kageyama's communication skills.

**I.) His words were blunt and straightforward. Never missing an opportunity to point out the flaws in a play or just something he noticed in everyday life.**

Which would seem like a pro, instead of a con. But you see that's not the case when combined with another problem on Kageyama's.

**II.) His inability to read other people's emotions and discomfort. As well as the hidden social cues and unspoken societal rules when it comes to talking.**

Comforting people and seeing if his words could affect any and all possible emotions a person could possibly be having. He also had no idea about any, any, of the rules spoken society had.

Like:

  1. You're not supposed to ask questions about basics in society. It freaks people out.
  2. You cannot say anything about the flaws in another person, unless it's gently and in a way that won't hurt their pride.
  3. Any and all attempts at helping another person must have the word "please" attached to it.
  4. Words, apparently, mean different things when said in a different tone. Even if you mean well, or it means something different to you, it all depends on the delivery of tone.



It made no sense to him, so he just didn't. He didn't obey the hidden social cue or rules because nobody bothered to tell him they were there or explain to him what they were in the first place.

He had to go and look, _actually look_ , and _study_ , others and teachers to find out what they were because:

**III.) Kageyama's words can hurt other human beings and their "feelings." Even if he meant well, they'll still end up hurting others, no matter how hard he tried.**

Which really sucked because the incident with Nishinoya was an experience nobody really wanted to live again.

He meant well, he really did!

Nishinoya was in the middle of the court and was blocking Asahi from spiking the ball. He could have injured himself or another backrow player because he was smack dab in the center of the court, crouched on his knees.

He meant to explain that Nishinoya could have gotten hurt or Asahi could have gotten hurt from that incident.

But what instead came out was, "You're in the way."

Everyone and the room was waiting for Kageyama to get hit or yelled at or something by either Tanaka or Nishinoya, but then he explained the meaning and the tension died down.

Even Tanaka said there could have been a better way the phrase that, and yes there probably could have, but Kageyama didn't understand that there was.

A short follow up to, no, not even a follow up. That _whole_ practice match with Date Tech was a disaster. 

He _felt_ himself revert back to his old ways and didn’t know how to fix it. It was terrifying and it was scary. He was stressed because he wanted to be the best setter he possibly could, but everything he was trying wasn’t good enough to get past the Iron Wall.

His words got the job done and helped to have Nishinoya be more careful. Which was another problem with Kageyama's communication skills.

**IV.) He did not understand what other people, or their meanings, or their words meant. Processing took awhile and it would be long before he understood what someone else meant whenever he spoke to them.**

This wasn’t as big of a problem, until he either:

  1. Mistook sarcasm as literally as possible and ended up doing something stupid because, “someone said so” and had to have sarcasm explained for the 48th millionth time.
  2. The emotions or feeling of someone’s word could go completely go over his head and something very heart-felt and sentimental could be dismissed as something anyone could say.
  3. He could take someone as being over friendly as an invasion of his space or take it as a threat and seriously hurt someone because he didn’t process the situation properly and not realize it for hours later
    1. Consequently, he could have gotten really hurt in a situation and he just didn’t realize how bad it was until hours later and have a panic attack over it way later.



It _really fucking sucked_ because he already struggled to maintain having people close to him. 

Even then, someone who isn’t good to be around or two faced would get really close to him and do something that might have hurt anyone else.

He’d have Hinata or Sugawara come and check on him to see if he was okay because said person was really shitty and he just cast the person aside like it didn’t matter. Other times, he would actively be in an unhealthy friendship with someone and the team would be like, “Stay away from them! Can’t you see they’re hurting you?!”

He would be fine or calm them down by saying, “They aren’t bad once you get to know them,” only for the team to be proven correctly. He just didn’t understand what had happened until he ended up crying on the hardwood floor after it finally got through his head and he fully understood.

Another problem with Kageyama:

**V.) Sometimes he’d pick up and notice too many details about a person and use them to try and read them better, only for him to be called a stalker or a creep.**

Examples include:

  1. Tsukishima
    1. Whenever Tsukishima was thinking hard about someone or something, he would chew the inside of his cheek and bite his lips, despite how Sugawara would tell him not too. He’d eventually chew a hole through his face.
    2. Whenever he was annoyed outside of volleyball practice, he’s tap his fingers against his headphones and keep his expression flat, his eyes would get all foggy. By that point, he wasn’t paying attention anymore.
    3. Whenever he was hanging out with Yamaguchi, he’d never have his headphones on. Ever. He’d have them on with everyone else, but never Yamaguchi.
    4. If you get anything even slightly, factually incorrect, his fingers start to twitch. It’s not noticeable from far away, but it’s there.
  2. Hinata
    1. Hinata really liked things that make noise. Bells, whistles, even the sound of flip flops. If it makes noise, he liked it.
    2. Whenever Hinata got nervous, he would start to shake and sweat just a little bit. He wouldn’t vibrate. He never got that bad.
    3. Hinata was scared of heights, not to an extreme degree. He would just space out more than usual if he was high up. It seemed he didn’t mind as long as his feet were steady on something.
    4. Whenever Hinata feel like he wasn’t being listened to, he’d scream until he had everyone’s attention. Everyone had gotten better at noticing when he had something to say, but there were still those times when he just, wasn’t being heard.
  3. Yamaguchi.
    1. For whatever reason, Yamaguchi would flinch if there were any loud noises near his proximity. 
    2. Whenever Yamaguchi was deep in thought or thinking really hard, he’d sart tapping a pattern onto his legs. This would last anywhere between a couple seconds to ten minutes. If it got too much or too loud, Tsukishima would tap his shoulder once or twice and he’d stop.
    3. Yamaguchi adored anything that was knitted or textured. It wasn’t noticeable if you weren’t looking hard enough. He would run his hands over the knitted hand warmers when the weather got colder or Tsukishima would whip out a piece of sequinned fabric for Yamaguchi to run his hands all over.
    4. Yamaguchi would crack, pop, and pull both his knuckles and his wrists. Everyone would get super freaked out because he never _stopped_ and would just k _eeping going._ It was always super loud and could go on for several minutes.



Someone would always ask him how he knew? How did you know?? And he would always be so confused, like why didn’t everyone notice?? It’s super noticeable? How did you not catch on??

Even in the past there would be a small detail with whatever friend he made and he would store it in his library of kinks and quirks he had about them incase it was helpful or useful.

He had this one friends who would pick at their fingers whenever they were thinking intensely about something, he couldn’t tell if it was on purpose or if it was a habit, but either way it was something he noticed.

He was walking home with said friend that day and he saw they were picking at their fingers so he thought the polite thing to do was ask, “Whatcha thinking so hard about?”

His friend would then be surprised and ask, “How did you know I was thinking?”

“You pick at your nails and cuticles when you think super hard about something, you also had your bottom lip barely showing.”

Said friend got freaked out that he had noticed such a tiny detail that not even their longest and oldest friends had caught onto. They had only known Kageyama for about a month and he picked up on such a specific and small detail.

Apparently, said friend got so creeped out about it, they stopped talking and hanging out with Kageyama after that.

They also warned their friends not to go near Kageyama because he’s super creepy and will end up knowing your darkest secrets.

A lot of people avoided him after that. He didn’t make a lot of friends after that experience.

That only added to his shit communication skills since no one talked to him or interacted with him for his entirety of elementary school and most of middle school. By then, his communication skills were _fucking_ **_terrible._ **

And even after his last middle school tournament, he still had no friends and he often got into a pickle with his family because they didn’t understand, _why wasn’t their kid just like everyone else??_

That only fueled his next downfall in communicating:

**VI.) He had no idea how to deal with his own emotions. He wasn’t used to feeling something that wasn’t the lack of friends, the loneliness he felt whenever he was in a social situation, or the faint layer of irritation that always sat beneath his skin.**

A sub-problem of this was, sometimes he just got so frustrated, so irritated, that he just didn’t know how to cope with it all so he just ran off to whatever desolate place was closest to him and he would start to fucking _scream._

He would yell and scream into the wall until he started to cry, because he was just so overwhelmed and did not know how to cope with all of it. He would then sit on the floor with his head against the wall until someone, probably Suga, found him and managed to coax him out of the corner and come back to practice.

_( sometimes he just wouldn’t respond no matter how many times someone said his name. He couldn’t find it in himself to get up because he didn’t want to scream until his vocal chords split and get overwhelmed with everything again. It sucked because he really wanted to get back to playing volleyball, but his body didn’t move. He was so tired, and frustrated, and scared. )_

THis wasn’t as big of a problem as it used to be, but sometimes he got a compliment, a _genuine_ compliment for his good work and adaptability, and he could felt heat rush up to his upper body and face. He didn’t understand what it meant, so he would just end up walking away and be alone until he felt cold again.

Or the rare occasions he got his point across without having a rough tone in his voice, he would feel a warmth in his chest that he didn’t understand and his smile ( when the actual _fuck_ did that get there? ) would fall and then he’d find his trade mark scowl.

He isn’t the most expressive person either, so whenever he’s feeling something really strongly, it’ll be such a surprise when is appears on his face.

It’s like every emotion he never got the opportunity to feel was like, _surprise bitch, you thought we didn’t exist!? Well here we are!_

It was actually, kind of nice. Like, really nice. But also really f _uckin_ **_g scary._ **

Whenever there was someone bigger and someone intimidating, he just didn’t know what to do so he just would end up, bowing or going completely unresponsive. Everyone on the team would then freak out because, _holy fuck, someone managed to intimidate Kageyama._

Everyone on the team didn’t seem to mind it at all, in fact they were so glad to see him open up and become more expressive. Especially since in the beginning he had been so stoic and cold to everyone.

There was one time Takeda and Coach Ukai took him aside after practice and just wanted to say they were proud and happy to see him grow so comfortable with the team that he was becoming for open and trusting them all.

Coach Ukai had pat him on the back and both of the coaches had smiled at him, beaming.

He didn’t know what to do because they were genuine. Ukai’s smile reached all the way up and his dimple was showing and Takeda’s touched his eyes, which shined with pride. His old coach was proud of the progress he made as a player, not as a person with emotions because he supposedly didn’t have any.

He was so overwhelmed with everything and it pooled in his gut and stretch all throughout his body. He didn’t know what to do, so he just started crying.

He didn’t even realize he was crying until his vision started to blur and he heard himself sniffle.

Once he realized he was the one crying, he choked on air and started to sob.

Takeda’s face was painted with concern as he place his hands on Kageyama’s shoulders and Ukai started to rub his back, which only served to make him cry harder.

They calmed him down, enough for him to form words and breathe normally again, and asked him _what’s wrong? What made him cry?_

He vomited out a bunch of words saying he didn’t know what these feelings were and he’d never felt so overwhelmed with emotions. These were so new and so foreign he didn’t know how to react half the time when someone was speaking to him. He didn’t understand a lot of what people were saying.

Takeda gave him a hug and offered him a ride home that night.

If Kageyama was being honest, it felt really good to cry for once and let it all out. 

That was the first of many nights where he finally got enough sleep. Where he felt secure enough.

Kageyama. Did not know how to communicate. At all.

And yes, it was a wonder that he had friends, people that actually cared about him, in their own weird ways.

Hinata jumping up and down whenever they completed a brand new move together and racing each other to get meat buns. Tsukishima and his salty remarks. Yamaguchi offering a compliment or two whenever he could tell Kageyama was feeling off. Tanaka and Nishinoya tackling him and giving him hugs. Suga patting his back and ruffling his hair like his mom used to. Daichi giving him lots of verbal affection. Asahi giving him thumbs up across the court. Ukai giving him knoggies. Takeda giving him hugs and shoulder pats. Ennoshita cheering for him on the sidelines.

There were many problems with Kageyama’s communication skills, but this time he had friends who understood him.

And that felt pretty great.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> This entire work is based on my interactions with myself, my friends, and my family. I have shit communication skills and I can't fix them no matter how hard I try. At times it feels like my friends understand me more than my own family does, which can be true depending on the situation. I can't read a room to save my life, I feel too much and get easily overwhelmed, despite being shit at reading other people's feelings. I cry whenever I get frustrated and my mouth doesn't connect to my brain at times.
> 
> It sucks because whenever I try to be sincere or genuine, I come off as moody. My bluntness comes of as rude and it's really awful because I get low-key scared that one day those who are closest to me will leave because they'll mistake my tone or word choice as me wanting to end our relationship instead of wanting to strengthen it. It's irrational, I know that, but sometimes I can't help but wonder if that will be the case one day.
> 
> Kageyama is similar to how I am with how we attempt to communicate with others. He's blunt, but can come off at rude, despite trying his best to help. He's canonically bad at reading the room and facial expressions and his relationships can suffer due to his lack of communication skills. He also strikes me as being very observant about behaviors and habits, but not emotions. That tends to drive people away ( he also strike me as the type of character that has no filter and says what he means and thinks, without processing it ).
> 
> Fun-fact: Kageyama's observations of Tsukki, Yama, and Hinata are a combination of personal headcanons, things my friends do, and things I do. I figured since Akaashi twiddles his fingers when he's nervous, I'd try to give everyone else little quirks and behaviors. And by everyone, I clearly mean only the first years LMAOOOOO.
> 
> Please, feel free to give me criticism. I'll take anything to help improve my writing! Comments and kudos are appreciated!


End file.
